We know that it’s really scary to come along to a Let’s Talk About Loss meet up for the first time. What if they’re weird? What if they ask too many questions? What if I can’t find them? What if everyone is crying? But it’s not as scary as you think, we promise! We’ve asked some people who come along to our meet ups to share what you can expect…
“I knew right there and then I was in the right company”
“The first face I saw happened to be a girl who was also a first timer to Let’s Talk About Loss and it happened to be the first meet up of the year. I did the decent thing and asked her if she had a nice Christmas and she said “not really, it was shit”! I knew there and then I was in the right company. “And don’t get me started on New Year”, somebody else said.
It’s funny because I had spent the whole morning wondering whether and how much makeup to put on, what to wear, whether I should expect people to talk about their loved ones or not, but it’s like our grief instantly united us without me having to do or say anything much at all. I was instantly relieved. In fact, after the really tricky first Christmas without my Mum, I didn’t want to leave the place where I’d felt the most understood in WEEKS.”
“The group is full of people who know the feelings you have experienced – so they can support you. It is always nerve-racking when you turn up to somewhere for the first time, but the Hosts are always happy to meet beforehand and grab a coffee or just arrive with you to the meet up so you’re not walking in alone.”
“I was instantly relieved”
“For me, it was really reassuring to find it wasn’t an intense and emotional therapy group. It was a fun social group, that would just happen to talk about some really sad things sometimes! I expected I’d cry at the first meet up, but somehow the shared grief experience was comforting rather than upsetting. Also nice to know that if I had cried, that would have been totally fine with everyone too!”
“I had no idea what to expect from the evening in all honesty. Grief can feel so lonely, but seeing so many other people when I arrived was so comforting. Relating to grief is difficult when you haven’t been through it and luckily my friends and boyfriend haven’t had this kind of experience – I’ve behaved in ways that were a shock to me and totally unexplainable but hearing that I’m not alone in this really helped.”
“It was really reassuring to find it wasn’t an intense and emotional therapy group”
“It sounds weird but the group is so fun! Not what you would expect from a grief-related group, but we really have a laugh and hardly ever talk about “the sad stuff”. I’ve found a group of friends who I can be totally myself with – and that is awesome”
What to expect when you arrive at a meet up
- The Hosts will be wearing Let’s Talk About Loss t-shirts, so you can always spot them and know you’re approaching the right group.
- We will never ask you to share about your loss unless you want to – there is no pressure!
- You’re unlikely to be the only new person – every month we get new people joining our groups, so it’s not like everyone else will have been there for years and you’re the only new person.
- In our bigger meet ups, we often separate into smaller groups to chat, so you won’t be sat in a circle with everyone, you’re more likely to be chatting to a couple of people in a smaller group.
- We talk about lots of things – not just grief! Our meet ups are not therapy or professional grief support, it’s just a group of friends hanging out. We’ll talk about a variety of topics, but it’s always a safe space to talk about grief.
- Everyone else there has been bereaved and is aged 18-35, so we’re sure you’ll find you have lots in common.
- If you’re nervous, you can email the Hosts beforehand and let them know you’re coming so they can look out for you. Each meet up has it’s own email address, which is [location]@letstalkaboutloss.org.
- Finally, each meet up has a closed Facebook group you can join which is a great way to start chatting to people in the group before a meet up. Find your local meet up page here and then feel free to introduce yourself on the Facebook group!
Any more questions? We’re always happy to help. Just drop us an email for more information!