In this gorgeous piece, Abbie writes about her son using the word “Mama” for the first time, and how she felt, as a motherless mum.
He said, “Mama”.
My baby. My boy. The word in part I used to crave saying. “Mum”.
I’d repeat it in my head like a broken record. “Mum”.
I just wanted to say it over and over again, despite knowing the call would never reach her or be answered. I missed saying the word. I yearned calling out for her.
The saying I’d never get to finish,
“I’m just going to call my mu….” ahh.
My boy said “mama”
I’m a mummy now. Something I’ve always dreamed of and my boy has just started calling me mama.
A beautiful milestone but perhaps provocative being a motherless mum.
There was something so emotive in hearing him say the word that I wasn’t expecting to surface inside me.
“Mama”. He repeats it like babies do, practicing his letter, ‘M’, that he’d struggled to pronounce before.
He crawls around me and mutters my title. His lips purse together as he goes about his business (aka causing chaos around the flat), and utters the special ‘M’ word.
I wonder if you can see us? Can you hear him? As he calls for his other grandma, what I’d give for him to know you in person too. My very own, mama.
I see photos of you lovingly holding your nieces and nephews back in time, and I can’t help but wonder, what if they were mine?
We miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Abbie Mitchell @abbies_mind